Ephesians 4:15 “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
I remember that verse from when I was a kid. Sometimes it seemed like the people who quoted it were about to hit someone in the head with a truth hammer. I don’t know of any good reasons to hit someone with a hammer out of love. Some of us think of ourselves as “I speak my mind.” kind of people, and others think of ourselves as “I don’t like to cause any trouble.” people. Some of us are aggressive. Some are passive. Don’t let your natural tendency override your ability to speak the truth in love.
If we are going to speak the truth in love, we have to be tough minded and tender hearted, but how do we know if we are beating up each other with the truth? How are we to know if we are being bleeding hearted types who enable the worst kinds of living?
I hope someone mouthed the name “Jesus” or “The Holy Spirit” when they read those questions.
Jesus models for us how to speak the truth in love. One of the most popular lines in the Bible “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” comes from a moment when Jesus saved a woman’s life. She had been caught having sex with a man who wasn’t her husband. Jesus saved her from the crowd because he loves her. Her told her the truth about her situation also: “Go and cut that stuff out.”
We also have the Holy Spirit to guide us in loving and truth telling. When you feel like you need to confront your wife, your husband, the principal, the anonymous person on the internet, ask the Holy Spirit about what you ought to say. Sometimes we present a straw man kind of argument to the Lord: “I’ve done all I can, and he/she still hates me.” or “I’m better of saying nothing at all to that woman/guy.” Ask the Holy Spirit what you might say or do to win them over instead of saying what you think wins the argument. Listen to His voice.
